And no purity in sickness
And I will crush those who had me believe
Hating myself would better me
I’m always so careful about who I share my personal space with. I never realized how scared I was to come into contact with other people’s skin until I realized how uncomfortable I am in mine. You taught me that physical touch leads to physical intimacy. A type of physical intimacy that taught me that my body didn’t belong to me and that my feelings didn’t matter. Even years after your touch burned expanses of my body and my soul,I am unprepared for how this memory makes me feel. I still hesitate to lean on a friend’s shoulder or hold my mom’s hand.
You took the pleasure out of normal physical touch away from years of my life, but I’m learning to take it back. I just wish I could make sure you never take that away from another person. Nobody deserves that.